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Says who? I had one of the worst Fridays of my life this past weekend, and yes, I feel a story coming on...

I started the day out on a Battalion run, less than a week after returning to Georgia's humidity and low altitude, from being a mile high in Arizona and dry for six weeks. Neeldless to say, I wasn't climatized. After running three or four miles, I broke out of formation (a no-no) and shat myself (also a no-no). This was my first clue that I had heat exxhaustion.

I felt that it was better to have everyone see me leave the formation, than for them to smell me staying in it - to say the least. This was the first time in 19 years that I could recall losing bowel control, and I was trying to make it all the way to 73 or so before I shat myself again. Humiliation wasn't the half of it.

So I get to my room, clean myself up, drink 32 oz. of water and 32 oz. of gatorade and promptly passed out on the floor, somewhere between 0830 and 0930. The next thing I remember was my phone ringing - it was a friend on the line - at 1730.

I called another friend to check me out medically - to assure that I wasn't going to die in the night or something, and when she was done, she went about her business, and I drank more water. Yes. The sober kind of water. Not everclear. We're not to that part yet.

My mind went off the deep end, while I kept control of my body just fine, I sent myself (more or less) on one hell of a roller-coaster ride emotionally all night. And in some hardly fathomed glimmer of hope of god-knows-what, I dug out an old gag gift (from years ago) and inflated it (it was an 8' shark). I didn't inflate it all the way, I hadn't the need or the strength, but I ended up using it as a body pillow and for whatever reason, that calmed my emotions.

I have know earthly clue what happened, but if there's a god out there, He sent an angel in the form of a pool toy?

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